When i feel like I am spinning or in weaker moments, I really wonder if I have gotten it all wrong. If maybe I am the one that is in crisis and that I am the one that is confused. That he is right. There is no way to save this family because he evan never ever love me and he has found someone else.
And then in moments of strength I think, 'be smart'. This is not an impossible situation. Like all of us I have done my homework and earned my degree in MLC and relationships in crisis. It is very probably my H is suffering through a crisis. And if thats the case I need to trust this process. And really, I have nothing to lose doing so.
Its just so hard isn't it?
There is comfort in the fact that other people have the same thoughts and have the same emotions as I do. The uncertainty is the toughest part. Never knowing if the last thing you said was "the final straw" and analyzing every little thing that was said and done, uugghh shut off my brain. I find it does get easier with time and turning my attention to other things every so often.
haha don't let him gaslight you busting, your not the one who flipped out and left. Sure you made mistakes in your marriage. Sure you could have been a better partner. Lets say you did all the things right that he complains about, how do you know you would not still be in the same position you are now? Lets say you move on and remarry and your new husband could care less about the things your husband now is complaining about. He may complain about completely different stuff lol. It's about communicating our wants, needs and desires in an effective way and about us listening to our spouses as they communicate their wants, needs and desires. Our interactions with each other, projecting love and kindness.
Take care of yourself, love yourself (this is hard I am currently struggling with it myself). When we start treating ourselves with kindness and love, then we can reach out and treat others with that new found strength, including our spouses.
You can not change your past, but you can ruin a perfectly good present by worrying about the future.
