CV, let me ask you a question... Ignoring him and not talking to him... what does that do for you? Does it make you feel better? It seems to me that it takes too much effort and if it's a part of the same cycle, then at least that's something you can break. You said that it doesn't change anything. He still acts like everything is fine. So all I see that doing is causing more strife.... I don't live in your house nor do I live in your body so I truly am asking you what it is doing for you.
As far as your comment to me and calling BS (lol), I have thought long and hard about that. In part, I do understand what you are saying to me. He used to put more effort in than he does now. But isn't that every marriage? My communication skills were poor. I do need to take responsibility for that. Now I'm not saying he doesn't have things he needs to take responsibility for but I can't make him do that. All I can do is understand what I have done. And by not communicating my own needs, by constantly catering to what he wanted (because of my clearly codependent tendencies), I have subconsciously communicated to him over and over again that some of his behaviors are ok. I never had many boundaries and if I did, I never really enforced them. That is the dynamic he is used to from me. Who is at fault there? Me. I created that. Did he help? Sure. But at the end of the day, I could have changed it at any time and I didn't until it got very bad.
