its been 2 years since this round started with my H (who doesn't actually feel like my H anymore) and over 3 since the first time he decided he wasnt' happy and wanted out the first time he changed his mind within a few months and we were doing fairly well until almost a year to that date this second time (in a nutshell) has been just over 2 years ago he actually moved out this time has gone on with his life as if he is single
he is conducting himself in a way that he always said he disliked meaning now he is sleeping with lots of different women (or should i say girls - they are less then half his age mostly)
he shows no signs of turning around
he also has shown no signs of filing and we are not even legally separated anyway, as this is a rollercoaster, today is a particularly bad day and i just needed to vent
although i have not posted in quite awhile i still find some comfort on this board so have decided to post
glad i have it to vent to and i wish everyone a great day
Hey grr - Welcome back. I was just looking over you thread from a few years ago. Apparently I was late giving you all the links then so this time a I will be first.
DB101 - start with a beginners mind.
Maybe go back and re-read your threads, reread the resources and see where you need to go from here.
No matter how much I learn and how old I get, that advice does seem to help me.
hi cadet - thanks for your response - i don't even know why i am hanging in there, he is so so far gone - what i am wondering is the relationship of pot to the midlife crisis? has anyone else had experience with a spouse who is addicted?
just saw your comment "can't believe i'm still here" and want to say , yeah, me too.
i guess there are lots of us out here sayign the same thing on a daily basis. i do not know what i'm doing on a daily basis- get strong- get weak - sit on my fence waiting for a strong wind to push me off ei ther way.
oh well-
how do perfectly good men go nuts like this? one of life's bigger questions.
don't know where it will end for me. have met a few women i know who actually went thru this- on their own- applied same m.o. as mwd and have turned sitch around. i don't know if i have hope or why i do it-.
35+ yers together - he says he's beenunhappy for along time( tho never felt compelled to mention it) found out 1/5 yr5s ago he was cheating for who kn ows howlong. inever ever susptected in a million years he would lie- silly me...
feellike a dope for about ten years - feel like a fool (retrospectively )f or about 30 years- i got nothin but to say hang in there and know you're among good company. assuming we're all the people with ourheads on straight dealing with a nutball-
I know of what you speak, G. I also felt like a fool, but now I'm a fool no longer. Trust is long gone, and I doubt ever to return. I am enlightened to my H's manipulations. I suspect my H is also sleeping with different women, but I never question anymore ... he always lies in a way that he's shocked I would think such a thing. Quite funny.
I'm bound for divorce, and happy for it. I don't know what he thinks, and don't care. I hope things go differently for you. I'm not sure what advice to give you, except continue to be patient, and work on yourself, GAL, hang out with friends, and don't pay any attention to him and his problems. They're kinda not your business anymore (that's what my H told me, even though he would come home on the odd occasion, and act married when convenient for him, but when he's away from home ... that's none of my business). Nothing worse than being cynical about one's much beloved H (or the H you used to have).
Take care.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
thank you all for your responses, i had forgotten how comforting it is to be reached out to i am sorry for your situations as well .............. i feel like i'm stuck in mud, but am helpless to get myself out brkyn - can you expand on that a bit....do you have any experience with this? the pot addiction?
