Thread #8 - It's time.

[25yearsmlc]

Navy

I think at times your w reminds me of one of those foreign leaders who acts interested in reconciliation whenever we impose sanctions...THEN pulls back when we want to inspect something or get something back.

I won't tell you what to do.

But, imo, she's NOT trying. Is that what you are really asking?

And she has not tried much for several years now. You are not wrong to expect more Navy.

5 times a year is fine if you're only asking 5 or 6 times a year. To mem the ratio of rejection is relevant. She rejects you a lot. She initiates...never?? And I assume you ask less often b/c you expect to be turned down...so,

Aside from the sexless aspects...

I'm impressed with how you have stayed in what I would call a "loveless" m -more than anything else. A lot of folks have sexual issues but are strong in other areas. Some of them still divorce.

I don't see where you two are connecting anywhere, for any length of time.

I'm so sorry to say this Navy, but to me, she's using you for a roof over her head, child care for the kids, and tuition for her career

which she sometimes seems interested in...and sometimes is not. I'm not sure she knows this.

MAYBE there are moments when she's actually confused about her choices. But that is the only thing that has struck me.

Power Of Now went to EE when I did team btw and yes, it was very rejuvenating. PON shared some things with his w about a sad story of one participant. HE shared some of his own insights from his childhood too. I think they bonded from his disclosure. She felt empathy for the participant he was discussing and I think she was touched by his own brave work.

Disclosure builds intimacy. Does she share anything with you of significance? Do you share with her?

You sound really lonely.


So you know, EE (Essential Experience) has its' next workshop in May and then again in August. I think that's it for this year.

See if you can get a buddy or relative to check it out, and then you'll have someone in your life who gets it. BTW There are also some DC people in support groups there, which I know b/c you are near my hometown of DC, right? Check out their fb page too. You can avail yourself of more support.

You need way more support in your life and your m is not likely to ever provide it. If you won't leave the m, and you won't have needs met IN it,

at least try to get some emotional support from your buddy or EE community or join a church or something so you don't have to suffer all this alone.

I don't believe you want too much from your m or w, OMG, I am sure you do not want too much. As Kaffe said though, why'd you think SHE could give something she has not given meaninfully for years?

Did you ever ASK her to go to EE? I might do that if she's actually claiming to work on the m.

"Working on a marriage" means MUCH more than "staying here"--- but I really think that is what SHE thinks working on it means.

Which is darn convenient for HER and darn lousy for you...