Also, the troubles in his family are an opportunity to listen to him and reestablish the connection. You are correct.
The "going dim" strategy has to go with the attitude that you're moving on with your life and understand that he's moving on with his. If you go dim and also ask him to reconsider, etc., you are making things more confusing for him. If you apply the LRT, you need to convey that you understand he is done with the M. And this is why the LRT is so hard. At the same time, you need to do the 180's. I think I've asked you this before, but what are your 180's? How can you be a better wife? What is he getting from the OW that he wasn't getting from you? Tough questions, but worth answering. They'll give you a sense of direction.