Gonna be different now, (butterfly in hurricane).

[25yearsmlc]

Hum, hum,
A little clarification is needed.
First it is not my xw, it is still my W, who I love unconditionally.

Second, the reason why I wanted to dismiss my L was because I would rather be wrong than be involved in a battle against my W. I want to protect her so much I prefer being defrauded than throw one accusation against her.

You just put IN an accusation.^^^^ You said she was defrauding you...

(Plus, I forgave her all her offenses, how could I go back and bring it up again?)
When we argued, she called me "idiot", and sometimes "imbecil"! I never called one single name to her.

You have said she acted "out of her head", "retaliatory", and other things HERE. You also keep score, still, And That's all we can go on

AND the fact that a woman with an infant left her h, the fahter of that infant AFTER asking for help for nearly a year and being lonely BEFORE the baby came and then getting NO help from her h, left a home they had shared for 3 years, and the man she loved enough to leave her own country to join, left to return to live with her parents

means a very different thing to ME, than it does to you....obviously.

Therefore, I don't think of her in bad terms, even though I know she is making the worse decision of her life. And is acting the worse possible.

More cognitive dissonance.^^ Look it up.


HollyAnn is right in saying that she's not being fair and unreasonnable even if she used different words. I just don't want to dwell on it. I need change, and I let the Lord change W.

And finally, W didn't want my time with S to be progressive, she asked me to stay in France, and when I still came she made it clear she didn't want me to see him at all. I'm glad members of this forum encouraged me to seek for more time with S, I already missed out his most tender years.

ONCE SHE LEFT YOU, and you took MONTHS to join her and your son...THEN she said "don't bother". You keep skimming over facts like we don't recall them.

As for the money, the order runs till end of June, correct, but the child support will still apply until S is 18. So much for a temporary thing, huh?

THIS APPLIES TO EVERY SINGLE PARENT IN THE WORLD!!! OMG...what is wrong with you?? What a BURDEN Your son is...

Sometimes I think maybe

ANY MAN who begrudges his children support should NOT see them...

SHE has to care for him until then too...ever ever ever think of how much WORK SHE does for him?


The special expenses (childcare) will also run until he's an adult, and will be transformed into soccer club, piano lessons, this and that.
So it isn't "temporary" either 25yearsmic. [/b]


You mean his MEDICAL conditions?? The ones you didn't believe or know about??

You have blown it Bruce. I'm done. You are not deserving of time with him OR my help. This is the MOST SELFISH thing I've read here.

And hey, you can always hope something bad happens to him, so YOU won't have to pay so much...and suffer the INJUSTICE of it all....



And the spousal support, true it has an end to it, but W is starting in September a 4 year course at uni and given our differences in salary, I'll be paying for a good chunk of time. If lucky it will stop in a couple of years, still, the amounts are astronomical.

It's called transitional support here, to get her on her feet.

The reason is that the tables and recommendations were made for a difference in salaries, not for one person working and the other studies and claims to earn 0 !!!


I'm broke, and I don't even qualify for the food bank (like the US food stamps.) It's not for no reason that I was considering going back to France last week, believe me.

So anyways, yesterday evening W sent a long email explaining what to feed S, when to change him and when to nap him. I thanked her and told her I'd do my best and would let her know how it went.
I had S from 9 to 3pm today, and we had so much fun!
S wouldn't sleep his nap, and I wrote that in the log, probably W is going to be mad about it, but oh well.

But what I wanted to ask is this : I came to the realization of something today. When I brought S back, W's mum was there making a face (she often looks sullen) and without saying any greeting said to me in an agressive tone of voice who took me by surprise: "we prefer he keeps his hood when he's outside, we don't want him sick!"
Now, from my car to their door, there's less than 5 meters, and it was a warm day today anyway (to the point I wasn't wearing my coat). The point is not whether or not I should have put the hood for the 10 second transfer, but I understood that my W is not alone in her decision. There are powers behind her. There are people manipulating, pouring their hatred, their fears or their soap-opera minds in W's ears.
That is why whenever W seemed to soften, the next time she came back all rigid and silent and determined to separate again. And I didn't understand...
Is it a possibility she's under the influence of her mom, and if yes, how to break it?

Should I send an email to W explaining how today's visit went, or say nothing, knowing that the "main" things are in the log book?

Thanks to all.