Sounds like you're slogging away. Its hard isn't it? I agree that much of the advice for dealing with MLCers sort of skims over the fact that the LBS has to "DB" or otherwise cope WHILE being in extreme pain. Either aspect, the DBing OR going through the agony of betrayal is more than enough to knock you flat. But putting the two together, at the same time - seems almost more than a human can cope with sometimes. Well, this human anyway.
And then for you add in the failing parent...
So very sorry Portia.
A thought on how XSO is (not) handling your parent's issues. Perhaps this is particular to only my H, but while H has never been too comfortable with those terminally ill, the last couple of years have really stepped up his low tolerance. I wonder if its because he can't stand the idea of his own mortality and so having anyone's mortality on display sends him running.
Did you ever see the movie "What About Bob?" Bob (Bill Murray) suffers from various mental issues, Dr Leo Marvin (Richard Dreyfus) is his therapist. At one point Dr. Marvin gives Bob a prescription for a "vacation from his problems".
Maybe you could prescribe yourself a "vacation" from XSO? This might allow you to focus more on yourself, and on your parent.
Whatever method gives you the strength to carry on and care for yourself. I pray for you. (((hugs)))
Me 46 H 56 M 22 yrs S22, D20, Twin Ss18
You teach people how to treat you by what you allow. What you stop. And what you reinforce. ~~~~~~~ A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect.
