Thank you l'infidele for your thoughts which I can't tell you how much I appreciate...really.
I am going to do that 5K. My S8 did it last year with H (when he was 7) and it went great. I bet my S5 could run/walk it with me, too. There is a fun run of 1 mile, too.
How are you so sure the affair will implode? I would really like to believe this is true. I know my H is very dysfunctional in relationships and so is OW. Yet he stayed married to me for 10+years and she was married for probably 15. I am praying you are right simply because contact with the OW and my children is absolutely unacceptable and I am going to seek legal action to keep it that way. (seriously)
I tried very hard in both positive and negative ways to have the connected, happy marriage I wanted. I definitely made many many mistakes. But the more therapy and couples psychotherapy and counseling we have had, the more I realize that H has serious problems with emotional relationships and there was never really a hope to reach him the way I needed to. He admits this is true and acknowledges he has no idea how to connect with his own sons in an meaningful way. I am not trying to point the finger at him and claim I am all-innocent--I am not--but yes--I threw myself into my Mommy life when I realized my marriage wasn't giving me anything despite what I did or didn't do. I should have sought counseling--BIG mistake--years ago...but since H seemed happy and we were always harmonious and agreeable--it didn't seem urgent. Big big big mistake. And even now I think that counseling earlier might not have helped anyway.
but still I want my old life back, it was fun and comfortable and safe, and this new life is NOT. at least not yet.
