Then, yes, I agree that it has to do with the frame of mind. What I pulled from the definitions are "examination or consideration" for a discussion vs. "disagreement, opposition, contention, and altercation" for an argument. I believe they represent a different attitude coming into the exchange.
In my example of the boating/floating argument, I don't believe my H ever took my interests into consideration at all. Whatever I said, he immediately contested/overrode it, not even acknowledging it. It's almost like I'm not even there. I certainly don't feel human, rather just like a "thing" that's supposed to submit to his bidding. And the fact that he could go 6 years without going floating with me once, yet still expect me to go boating with him again exacerbates that feeling.
It's curious that you find this enjoyable. My H wouldn't have made it through reading my first post, much less ever responded to it. So I appreciate it, too! At least it's a little off the beaten track of what my mind usually chews on.
So I'm still curious to the end result. What is the line between asking/discussing and nagging? I tend to check out pretty easily, because of my reasoning in my earlier post. If a person says no, I believe they're entitled to that decision. Obviously, H doesn't feel that way. And you seem to have a least a somewhat different perspective. What am I missing? What logic says that we as an individual have a right to argue someone else into doing something for us, when they've stated they don't want to? The continental congress sitch is a different animal in my book; those people were defining laws for an entire country. I'm considering it on a one-to-one level, like going floating or boating. What gives my H the right/reasoning to say "no," that I can't just go floating without him, and I need to go boating with him. Again. And I don't just mean because he's selfish. I mean, when does another person become a "thing" to do your bidding, even against their own choice? Where's the line between this and stealing? Or rape? (Sorry.) A person should be able to say no without contest. My H has argued me to the point where I just give in, because I just don't have it in me to fight about it anymore. At what level is that okay?
