Feb 22nd 3:07pm her: I will leave you know when I can get over sorry things have been crazy with the kids
Her: I'm sorry I forgot to say hello
Me: Ok
Her: Hope all is well
I KNOW I have to get the snooping under control, there's just no point. What I am wondering though is if I had just stopped here, just not given any reply, is this the type of thing where WAS is testing the waters b/c they're unsure? Or am I just putting expectations into place again and looking for stuff that doesn't exist?
“People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Abraham Lincoln
Ok, so I went back and read your first thread. IMO you should pack her stuff up, drive it to where she is living & leave it in the porch. Lose her number. Block her on FB. Move on!!!
You deserve happiness. You are 30, with no children. Work on you, find someone who will treat you well. She is 28, twice divorced with 3 kids. You've known her since may. Hands down, if my H & I werent M & had no kids, I'd be out of here. Especially after only a few months together.
Have you asked yourself why you want to be with this woman? As a mother, I have to question moving in with someone I barely know with my children...then, 7 months later moving in with a different guy?!?! RED FLAGS!!! RUN!!!
M: 9 yrs T: 13 yrs H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs Dbing 12/12 S 1/13 7/13 H moved back in basement. 8/13 #3 born 10/13 still cheating 10/13 He moves across country, I file for D
Tallula....exactly why I'm hating this. I go back through everything and other than just finding her very sexually attractive physically (and for a short while a cool person to be around) I don't know what I was thinking.
I don't have the resources to just pack up all her stuff and move it, don't have friends I can call or anything. Also, basically, she is still being civil in that regard for now and if I do that move then she's gonna call the cops and just cause me lots of headaches.
It's one of those background annoyances now. Her stuff is out of the way so it's just a matter of her getting it out for good. Only reason I'm keeping in contact and she's the one now initiating, I don't. So it just [censored] sometimes when I'm having a good day and then see her texting or calling me.
I've been out on dates, not getting exclusive with anybody, and I'm having a good time. Just throws me at times...
“People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Abraham Lincoln
How could the cops even be involved? It's your house. Give her an end date or you'll charge her for storage. Or put it on the curb. Maybe she's keeping you as a backup since you said you'd always be there. Stringing you along. Who knows. Seriously, she needs to get her stuff gone or you'll never move on.
M: 9 yrs T: 13 yrs H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs Dbing 12/12 S 1/13 7/13 H moved back in basement. 8/13 #3 born 10/13 still cheating 10/13 He moves across country, I file for D
Cops aren't lawyers but they like to pretend they are. They're trained to side with females in anything remotely like a domestics call. She'll call just to cause me headaches. Tit-for-tat escalation games.
The woman I first met was nothing like this one. It's that body snatcher thing from DR. I'd work on a relationship with the woman I first met. I woke up today once again thinking of her; wondering if I just shouldn't believe what I hear and see.
I have a coffee date with a new woman today so I'll go make the best of that.
“People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Abraham Lincoln
Cops aren't lawyers but they like to pretend they are. They're trained to side with females in anything remotely like a domestics call. She'll call just to cause me headaches. Tit-for-tat escalation games.
The woman I first met was nothing like this one. It's that body snatcher thing from DR. I'd work on a relationship with the woman I first met. I woke up today once again thinking of her; wondering if I just shouldn't believe what I hear and see.
I have a coffee date with a new woman today so I'll go make the best of that.
Ok. You've known her since may 2012, correct? You started having problems sep 2012...right?
If that is correct, it IS the woman you met. In the beginning we are showing people out best side. Then the real you comes in to play. This is her. When someone shows you who they are, believe them. I've known my H for 13 years. The man he has been the past 3 months, I don't recognize. THAT is what people refer to. I don't want to be with that man. I'm seeing signs of my H, so that's a positive.
I personally believe your fear of the police is an excuse. She has no recourse. I'd simply say, I'll bring you your stuff or you can get it, but we need to close this. 2 weeks all your stuff needs to be out. End of story. This woman sounds like a mess. And IMO, you should really look inward before starting another R. How did you get pulled in so hard, so fast? Why are you still so attached to this woman when you say it's only sexual attraction you really have. Get really honest with yourself. You deserve a great R. Don't jump in so fast next time!! Work on you. Good luck.
M: 9 yrs T: 13 yrs H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs Dbing 12/12 S 1/13 7/13 H moved back in basement. 8/13 #3 born 10/13 still cheating 10/13 He moves across country, I file for D
Feb 22nd 3:07pm her: I will leave you know when I can get over sorry things have been crazy with the kids
Her: I'm sorry I forgot to say hello
Me: Ok
Her: Hope all is well
I KNOW I have to get the snooping under control, there's just no point. What I am wondering though is if I had just stopped here, just not given any reply, is this the type of thing where WAS is testing the waters b/c they're unsure? Or am I just putting expectations into place again and looking for stuff that doesn't exist?
I'll be thinking about what you two said. I don't understand why NOW is the time to start believing what she says...but ok. I don't know what it is that draws me back in. And I'm casually dating and not making any moves for a serious R.
I HAVEN'T been initiating contact. I'm not texting her, calling her, or seeking her out. I ignore her calls and texts and wait a long while to respond if needed. That's why I was so surprise at the quoted text above.
“People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Abraham Lincoln
Alright, I guess I see those glimmers of goodness...probably the same she first saw in me but then saw my "true colors".
As for the moving in together issue...it's not multiple women I've done this with...she was losing the house she was renting and was facing being homeless at the time.....not necissarily a GOOD reason but THE reason.
“People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Abraham Lincoln
As far as her moving out, we are working on coordinating when I'll be home so she can come get stuff while she has off of work. I see no pint in me being an a-hole about it and other than that backslide I haven't been talking to her about anything else.
There's still part of me that wonders if she's "thinking" b/c I've heard that even though she acts super happy with OM not all is well. For her to say "Hope all is well" was just so out of nowhere with the way she's been lately it surprised me to no end.
I've been out with a group for the past 4 weeks making new friends. I've spent one-on-one time with 4 different women. I've had sex with 3 of them and fooled around with the 4th, no sex just due to time constraints. I'm not leading them on that we are exclusive or that I'm looking to be exclusive or have an R.
With that...every morning my ex is the first person on my mind. That, dear friends, confuses me greatly.
“People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Abraham Lincoln
