Well it's an interesting discussion but I think we may be talking semantics at this point. Let's look at your definition again:
argument: an address or composition intended to convince or persuade; an oral disagreement; verbal opposition; contention; altercation
I'm not sure there is much wrong with convincing and persuading. I mean truly a person can see things from a different perspective only if and when they are presented with a different perspective. Now, you can call that a discussion... but it could also be an argument. We go back to what happened at the continental congresses and many men argued their point vehemently and truly came up with a framing of a government that is amazingly functional and smart (lol, I know many would disagree). I think it is in the way we argue and the mind frame in which we enter these "arguments."
It's hard to have these discussions, though, when speaking globally. The devil is in the details. So if we were to go back to your examples... your H wants you to have sex with him and not give you anything in return. Well that's not an argument. That's someone who is entering an argument with a bad frame of mind. And that's different. There is no exchange of ideas there. I have had these arguments before with people. Damn, people have had them with me. But if someone won't at least consider your point of view, then you are at end game. Now I hear you saying that is how you define an argument... when someone enters it and does not consider the other's point of view. But I don't see it the same way. Why? Well the lens by which I see through prevents me from seeing that way. My H and I have had arguments and we both ended up at some sort of compromise in the end. Some of those arguments were productive. It sounds to me that you don't find any productivity in your arguments. Does that mean the act of arguing is bad or does it mean that the frame of mind being brought into the argument is bad? And again, I'm aware that we are probably talking about semantics here...
LOL. You can call it an argument or you can call it a discussion... either way... I LIKE IT
