However deeply buried,feelings still bubble up

[2chiquitos]

I agree. Read up on your feelings and situation. It's called Love Addiction. OW was like a drug. Imagine your addicted to a drug. How will you connect the memories of OW to pain that you inflicted on your marriage instead of connecting it to feeling giddy?

Although it may be hurtful to some, your insight is helpful. This is why judy wachs (After the Affair) doesn't label the LBS a victim. We are both victims. We are both obsessed with a drug. Your drug is OW, LBS' drug is WAS' business!