Time and tide...

[adinva]

I don't think this is a switch in the railroad track two, just a point along the way. It's not a make or break.

I could be wrong but it seems like your W has been very consistent for a very long time, and I didn't read her reaction to your recent conversation as accidental defiance. It seemed to me like not going would be more of a change for you than going. It would indicate that maybe you're not hanging around in limbo anymore, maybe you're OK with moving forward.

I would think having recently clarified things to you she might feel it's safe to take a family vacation without getting your hopes up.

I think it's wrong to try to base your decision on what she might think or do based on this or that. I think you've got to base it on what is best for you and your kids. Letting the limbo go a while longer? Or separate vacations?

I am wrestling with same, since my H wants us all four to go somewhere for spring break. Family time? A chance to show positives? Maybe even a sign of interest? Or refusal to accept the reality that we aren't together anymore? Or trying to force the "friends" goal that WAS has but LBS doesn't feel? Am I fixing, facilitating, kidding? Can I handle it or will it raise expecations? What if it's an overture and I brush it off? Who am I kidding, it's not an overture. I get it. I can't tell you the answer.