Living, Getting the Paperwork Started (20 months)

[adinva]

Oooh I dream of getting so much attention as a double grunt!

Congrats on being sober 10 years. Wow!

What did you mean your friends you partied with were just partying?

I try not to be too panicky about my son trying things, but the environment has changed a lot since we were kids. Parents have been sent to jail for serving alcohol at high school parties. Kids get kicked off their sports teams for getting caught once. I even worry a little that hanging with kids who aren't ambitious will make it that much harder for S15 to work up to his potential, maybe closing some doors as it limits his college possibilities. Then I worry that he gets in an accident because of drinking or drugs, or overdoses, or gets hooked. I got so completely hooked on smoking that it was very difficult when I wanted to quit (at the time I thought completing SmokeEnders was the hardest thing I had done in my entire life, which now I kind of laugh about but I do still fear addiction). I worry that without two parents home to care about and watch for him he'll take some chances I can't catch him at. I worry about his friends bringing stuff into my house. I worry about the police showing up. I worry about being declared an unfit mother because I can't always get him to go to school on time and could be perceived as not having much control over him. I worry about H sending him to boarding school.

He's my first teen. I'm sure I'll have this all figured out in two years when S12 gets there. I just wish things were different, I wish S15 weren't angry, I wish his dad was nicer to him, I wish we had the nice family I had always wanted, I wish....