Less lonely, not scared..low on patience

[JBolt]

I almost posted this on PeteP's thread, but I'm going to try and keep the long-winded stuff in my threads. You may wonder what I have posted that wasn't a novelett. Oh well.

The children know. I talked to my W's cousin's husband over xmas. We are the same age. Everyone goes to her grandparents house on xmas day. When he heard that W was not with us, concerned he asked if she was sick ( as everyone asked that day). He looked in my eyes and before I could answer, he said lets go for a walk.

The first thing he asked was how long has she been gone, emotionally? I could hardly believe he knew exactly what I was going through. I didn't know about MLC then, but he did. His W, my W's cousin had given him the ILYB about a little over a year before. He asked her leave the family home immediately, that day. She didn't say anything about kids, D18, S15, and just left. She was gone 8 months, barely kept in touch with the kids and he essentially LRT her the entire time, without knowing anything about DB. I wish I had as much self respect and confidence at BD. 8 months later she showed up at the house.. Things were still pretty rough. I had no idea and was stunned.

The main point he wanted to stress was that the kids will remember. They will know without having to be told a thing. D18, now 19 had since moved out. He said she rarely talks to W and called him a d@mn fool for taking her back. S15 was a bit more cordial, but is obviously very mad at his mother. He said take the best care you can of those girls. Make sure they know they can depend on Dad and talk about anything with you. He said they know and hopefully can forgive someday.

I learned that day I was not alone and he focused me on what was most important at a time when I was truly lost and wallowing in my own self pity. I will be forever thankful to him for taking me aside that day, just as I will be always thankful to my friends on this forum.

My kids do know. Both are perfectly aware and have said to me that their mother is not the same. I have no idea how this is going to play out, but my sincere wish is that W's fog will lift some day and she will have the clarity to see what she has done. I hope that she will find the courage to face the guilt and swallow her pride and sincerely apologize. Not out of spite or a need for some kind of justice, but so the kids and I can take some solace in the knowledge that the woman we love the most is in there somewhere and might be truly happy someday.

Also, I got my bowling ball! the girls think it's awesome. I only wish my bowling skills lived up to the ball
J.