Time and tide...

[2thepoint]

I think the consensus is that I should stay away and find something to do with the boys on my own. That is certainly easy enough to do but also seems like the easy way out.

I have to admit that I am truly conflicted here. On the one hand, I'm really quite weary of this entire episode of my life that has been going on for a very long time. I am taking steps to get my life on a track that doesn't include my W but does include more time with my kids. It is what I must do and it has taken me far too long to get to this point.

On the other hand, my W seems agreeable to a family vacation. For someone who was Done! Done! Done! it sure seems like a positive to me. I know that she recently told me after I brought up the big "us" that her feelings hadn't changed. However, a friend made a point that perhaps I caught her off guard and her instinctive reaction was to be defiant.

Regardless, a family vacation would be good for all of us, the kids especially. And, family time together after such a difficult year+ might be just what the doctor ordered. Maybe!

I've also been thinking about the length of time my sitch has been going on. 17 months is a long time but there are others here who had or have been at it longer and eventually came out the other end, some reconciled, some not. So, while I am making moves to get my life back, get my life on a track for a better future, I still feel like all the signs are there that this show isn't quite over yet.

I have another friend who's W has given him 2 years of he!! but she is not well. She is majorly depressed much like my W. And only now is she starting to take ownership of her actions and ownership of her need to dig herself out of the mess she has made of her life. She is making the effort. And if she can do it, I have to believe my W can too.

I hope I'm making sense and not simply being delusional.