Is it humanly possible to drop the rope?

[AJM]

LMAO. You don't think men get told those things, because, well, you're not a man and people talk to you differently. I assure you, men and women get told the same things. Except men don't get told to play with pink dolls that can't walk on their own

Seriously, the pressure to be in a relationship is very strong for both men and women. Why? I think it's because we're wired that way and Hallmark has a conspiracy going.

Can we be happy alone? Are we lonely because we're not "coupled"? I'm not lonely. I'm happy. I have a relationship, but I choose to have that relationship and I make sure to spend time alone as well. I'm not broken or alone when I'm alone. I'm not broken when I'm with others. I'm not trying to fill a need with a relationship, like a salmon swimming upstream to spawn.

I enjoy the company of the woman I'm in a relationship with. I also enjoy being independent and sometimes alone. I enjoy being in the company of other people. I don't "need" either of those to be me. I never did except briefly (and ashamed of that time) when I was coming out of my marriage.

I do feel the pressure of people that think I should be out partying my arse off with different women each night. They try to live their lives through me. Happened to me tonight with some old friends that I ran into. I don't mind. That's their values and their impression of what I need to do to be happy. I disagree with that.

I don't need some advertiser telling me I need to buy something or be with somebody to be happy. I know me. I like me. I know what it takes to be happy.

It just takes knowing me and living in harmony with my God and my values.

It used to get on my nerves when people would tell me "you should find a nice girl and settle down" or "you should party like a frat boy." I actually had a guy who once gave me advice (unsolicited) how to pick up women. I am polite and let them say what they want, but I know it's their perception. They don't live my life. Only I do. Only I answer for my life.

Men and women basically want the same things. The gender roles are strong, but at the basics, we really do. We just want to be loved for who we are. Either alone, or coupled doesn't change that. And there is no "recipe" for happiness as some would have you believe. Life is too simple for that as far as I'm concerned.

Peace,
AJ