I think she can definitely tell. One of my problems is that I can be passive aggressive. This is why I badly need to work on "as if" and PMA. This is very hard for me. I feel so down when I am around her.
Grizz, big difference for you and me of course is my W is out of house so makes detaching easier. I know this is hard but if you want to make things work with W you've got to show her your best self in her presence. Even if it takes some acting. It can be a positive that she is in the house and you can show her the best of Grizz.
I feel a lot of compassion for my W and know that she had feelings of turmoil far before BD. So I know it is not easy for her. Sounds like this is true for your W as well. Compassion for your W can make it easier for you when you are in her presence. This compassion doesn't mean I don't have feelings of frustrations with W and our sitch. I do. But I don't let my wife see that. Usually
Also, do you try to see things from her perspective? Understand things she's said that might give some insight as to where she's coming from?
