Is it humanly possible to drop the rope?

[BeingMe]

You know, I have to agree with you both, A and B. I am very happy being by myself 80% of the time. I'm studying so that takes up a lot of time, that even friends are being neglected. I will make up for that this coming spring break and over the summer. I don't miss being in a R, because I don't have to get to know another man, all his hang-ups, blah blah blah. I'm emotionally tired from my M, and want to just enjoy my freedom. I like men as friends, then you don't have to worry about making an impression except as a friend, and that's easy. I also hang out with my two kids who are still in the same city as I am. And, I get conversation-ed out with them, which is a pleasure ... they have very similar tastes to me.

On the other hand, there are those teeny-tiny moments when I feel lonely for an emotional outlet, other than friends and children. I hide a lot from them, but within an ER, one can be more honest, such as being fearful about illness, etc. Having that hug that shows that someone truly cares about your feelings, your inner fears and joys. But, I would rather not have a R, at this time, anyway. I'm pretty strong, emotionally speaking. S*x would be nice, but not imperative. I won't have a one-night stand, so that's out for now. It's also nice to go to the movies or out to dinner with someone, but I don't really have time for that.

Sometimes, I just go to a coffee shop to have people around me. I take my laptop with and write or do other homework. It works for me, and occasionally my D20 comes with and does her homework too.

My one friend has been trying to get my H and I back together for a couple of years. She also says that perhaps someone else is in my future if I get divorced.

This the thing ... I don't need a man, and if one who seems nice, comes along, I'll think about it, and may want one then. There's no man that can complete me. I'm 100% okay with myself, even with my goofiness, weirdness, putting my foot in my mouth on the odd occasion, because I know, deep down, I'm good enough for anyone if I want, and I'm a more than a nice person. I've been through a lot, and I've come out of all that with integrity, humor, and courage.

Okay, enough patting myself on my back ... need to catch up with course work. Spring break is the perfect time to do that.