First Timer

[wolverine1997]

Hello to all. I have finally returned, but not with good news. My last post was about three years ago and things have not gone well. My wife served me with divorce papers two weeks ago. It hit me like a ton a bricks. She has been threatening to do so for almost 4 years now. I thought that she might do it once our oldest child was 18 years old. Since my last post things only got worse. She has become totally independent and disrespectful. It is like two complete strangers living in the same house. When I received the divorce papers I completely freaked out. I called her at work and lost it. I was a complete emotional train wreck. She was considerate and understanding. This was odd because she had not shown me these emotions in years. When she came home from work I did everything wrong. I begged, pleaded and cried. I promised the world and told her that things could be different if she would give us another chance. We talked about our problems and how we got to where we are. She told me why she feels the way that she does and what her problems with me were. We talked for hours about why she wanted to leave. I continued to plead my case but she said that it was too late. But I didn't give up. This went on for another hour or so and then she finally agreed to think about it. FINALLY, A SMALL GLIMMER OF HOPE! The next day she, the kids and I spent the entire day together. It was great! It was like old times again. We genuinely enjoyed each others company. The following day, Sunday, she invited me over to her mother's house for a family dinner. She had not invited me anywhere in a very long time. I now thought that things were about to change. Silly me. Once we got around her family she became a little cold towards me. Not too bad but not as nice and pleasant as the day before. I didn't sweat it, I figured that this was still progress but that it would take awhile to work things out. The next day, Monday, it all fell apart. I tried to talk to her as she is getting dressed for work. She is cold and despondant. She then tells me that the divorce is still on and things can not change between us. I again go into desperation mode and try to reason with her. We go back and forth and she again agrees to think about it. This back and forth goes on for almost a week. Now we are a few days before a court hearing, I have no lawyer and am not prepared at all to deal with this. She agrees to push the court date back so that I can get a lawyer. I make a last ditch effort. I agree to pay her lawyer's fee if she would just give me six months to work things out. I also agree to help her pay off her medical bills. I asked her how she could ruin our family and devastate the kids. I think she felt a little guilt. She starts to weep softly and asks why can't I just let go. She then says that she will talk to her lawyer. It has been a couple of days now and she is bitter. She says that she is mad at herself because she allowed me to talk her into doing this. So far she still won't really talk to me but she did say that the divorce is postponed. I have a small window of time (six months?) to try to repair this. I just reviewed my DB book and notes. I last read them over two years ago and forgot much of what I read. I am formulating a game plan and going for broke. I almost have my plan together, I will put it in my next post.