Less lonely, not scared..low on patience

[reachingHigher]

Jay,

I'll share a little bit about what it's like for me. My H has been in MLC for years, but it hasn't been all miserable. We had many good times mixed in with the discontent before he started replay.

A year ago this month he was thinking 24/7 about moving out. Now, although I cry and whine on the boards here and you quoted my sentiments about myself exactly:

I am not as strong as some of you.

I've managed to limp along this far.

Now, here a year later, I get 3 or 4 nights a week sleeping in the arms of my lover. When S13 had a bad dream the other night, both of his parents were there to comfort him. I know that I can trust my H now. Not distrust him. I've gone to 100% of letting him go so in my heart I feel like he will only come back if he wants to. He doesn't have to.

I see other people here with growth. T^2 is much more analytical than me and has detailed the wonderful ways he has grown. Lots of others have shown personal growth through these trials. I know I have learned how to be much more patient and less controlling.

If you read some of 25's activities she did to GAL it looks anything but boring! And yes, there is this waiting time, but if you ended up with one of those 1 in 10,000 R's ... wouldn't you wait?

I think you are doing really well. You are constantly trying to figure it all out....what is best for you. Reading the archives here has been a real source of encouragement for me.

Keep asking questions. Keep moving on. Keep working on you. W will get there one day. She is looking to you for strength even though it doesn't look like it right now.