Friend said "you don't have to do anything, just go on date and let her know So she sees your moving on" She thought that might make her want me back, but I feel like she would just think "ok, I guess it's cool to start dating men now"
All seems a little childish to me.
I agree with Ad. I wouldn't play the games. You can go out, create some mystery, etc without actually dating. In fact, that's what you should be doing.
"I'am hoping it will help me to detach by not seeing w as much, and also hoping w will miss me at some point."
Personally, I don't think you're still understanding what detachment is. Detachment isn't where you are totally cut off from your W. Detachment means to 'detach' your feelings to a degree where you still care for her, BUT you don't let her actions affect you. And that's the key. YOU have the power to allow her to affect you or not. Once that clicks for you, you'll 'get it'.
She's opened the door several times for you to join her and the kids. I would say the next time she does so, take it.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Whenever she opens the door for me to hang out with her and the kids it's not me and her and the kids, it's me and one of the kids and her and the other kid. We don't do things together.
I texted her last night that I didn't want her to think I wasn't avoiding conversation w her and that if she ever wanted to talk, I was here for her. She texted back that she didn't think I was avoiding conversation and that she appreciates how non aggressive I was being w her and how present I was being w our kids.
My therapist asked me yesterday if I thought she ever loved me. He said he was mad at her for not forgiving me for the past and not willing to work on the marriage.
Me:46 W:40 M:10 T:17 D:9 S:6 BD:12/11 ILYBINILWY:8/12 Served 2/13 I moved out 2/13 I moved back 6/13 W moved out 9/13
My therapist asked me yesterday if I thought she ever loved me. He said he was mad at her for not forgiving me for the past and not willing to work on the marriage.
Should a therapist EVER have an emotional response to a situation that he's supposed to remain neutral about?? Doesn't seem right to me at all...
My therapist asked me yesterday if I thought she ever loved me. He said he was mad at her for not forgiving me for the past and not willing to work on the marriage.
Should a therapist EVER have an emotional response to a situation that he's supposed to remain neutral about?? Doesn't seem right to me at all...
I was just getting ready to say the same thing...
Your therapists job is to help you deal with your anger, not to perpetuate it, or to project their feelings on to you...
"Whenever she opens the door for me to hang out with her and the kids it's not me and her and the kids, it's me and one of the kids and her and the other kid. We don't do things together."
Who cares? The fact is that she invited you. There are so many WAS's that don't even do that. After your emotional outbursts you're lucky to get that. Take that positive and learn how to grow it.
"she appreciates how non aggressive I was being w her and how present I was being w our kids."
See? It was the aggressiveness that scared her.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Do you think the therapist was trying to encourage him to get in touch with his anger by modeling it a little, intentionally?
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
I think my therapist is trying to build me up. He is telling me how well I connect with him in our sessions and he says that the number one killer of marriages is a lack of intimacy.
He also knows how Im too focused on my W and may be trying to diminish her in my eyes so that I can detach more, not sure, just a guess....
Me:46 W:40 M:10 T:17 D:9 S:6 BD:12/11 ILYBINILWY:8/12 Served 2/13 I moved out 2/13 I moved back 6/13 W moved out 9/13
