I was the first one home again, so I decided to make dinner again. Made Rotini & meat sauce with garlic & cheese bread.
I do not mind doing this as I would have to cook if I was by myself. I am an IT Manager, W is a restaurant manager - so ISTR that she probably doesn't feel like cook after doing her job all day.
D21 & D13 got home shortly after I did. D13 said they already ate some food D21 brought home from work - D21 still isn't talking to me. So I went ahead and ate dinner.
W was late getting home since her shift ran late, and seemed glad dinner was done - she thanked me twice. After she was done I had the D's clean up after dinner and load he dishwasher. D21 went to her room while the rest of us watched some TV and talked.
W used to sit on whatever I wasn't sitting on in the family room. Lately, she's been sitting down where ever I sit, but, with distance between us - not a huge change, but again - baby steps. I was been in the middle of working out and coming in every few minutes as we were getting pics of our grand daughter in text messages from D23.
I asked W about her day, and she paused the TV so we could talk about it - and actually talked for about half an hour and had a pleasant conversation.
After we talked, she went back and un-paused the TV, and changed to Big Bang Theory, since it was a new episode. I told her I knew she wanted to watch Vampire Diaries and that I could watch BBT later. She said no, we'll watch BBT. After wards, she started Vampire Diaries and started dosing off, so shut off all the lights and went to take a shower.
Yesterday, I had to talk to the State tax office on her behalf, regarding some tax issues with her former business partnership. Since I work right next door, it's easy for me to stop in there. Technically, I guess they shouldn't even talk to me about these issues, but, they have seen me in there with her and are aware we are married, and that I know of the problems. They gave me the information I asked about so I could relay to her, since the earliest she can get in there herself is Tuesday of next week.
So, I guess my issue is this - I've always handled this type of thing for her. One of my 180's was to try and limit our interaction, as well as the amount of things I was doing WRT fixing things for her. Now, I don't want to see her in any legal trouble, but, at the same time, if she really wants a S and maybe a D, should I be doing this?
Also, W has some MAJOR anger issues about the business partnership. There's no doubt in my mind she would love see something bad happen to her former partner. I've known for a while there was an EA involved as they both shared way more info than is normal about their lives - and she did admit to this. W still swears there was never a PA.
So is the anger more due to the way the business arrangement ended? Or is it the way she was locked out of everything while she was on vacation? Or does she feel he betrayed her trust? Does she truly understand WHY she's angry - is it really what she says or does it run deeper? She was really angry at herself last year for letting things spiral down like it did. Or does it really matter why she's angry, and that it's more important to get her help to deal with the anger, regardless of the source?
Sometimes DBing is confusing... It seems like I make a plan of how to act, what I need to change to be a better person, and what I'm willing to accept (boundaries) - only to have a major curve thrown at me to make me question everything I previously thought. I'm not sure if we're playing a waiting game to see who will flinch first about bringing up the M issues, or whether we both just suspect it's over.
From my perspective, I have no real expectations that she will ever change her mind, but, I am continuing to act 'as-if' things are improving and we will be able to reconcile. Which itself seems like an oxymoron....
