First, let me acknowledge that this post may be painful to some of you. I am sincerely sorry if it is. It is an honest experience and I could use some support.
A little quick background. I was in a sex starved marriage 18 years. I had an affair which was discovered by my wife. I immediately end the affair. Wife and I have been DB'ing for 6 months. I couldn't be more thankful for the progress we've made.
Last evening there was just the outside chance of running into the former OW at a community function. I was completely giddy. I was excited at the possibility and found myself fantasizing about what I would say to her, how I would smile and behave....blah, blah, blah. In essence all the feelings from when we were involved came flooding back. Fortunately she didn't show up. I was sad and disappointed, both because I didn't see her and because that all those feelings came back.
The one thing that has been missing from our DB experience and all the other counselling we've done is support for the cheater on how to deal with the loss of the "Other" relationship. Everything is structured as if to say "it was a horrible mistake, learn from it and throw it away".
