Your list is fantastic, nice work!! This is an important step in DB'ing that a lot of people want to skip. But there's nothing like writing these things down to help you explore and understand what you personally need to work on and it also gives you something that you can go back and review as a reminder of what your goals are.
Regarding the conversation with your H, you did absolutely nothing wrong. He was being a tool and was just cruising for a fight. Kudos to you for not getting drawn into it. I think this says it all about his attitude:
"Speaking simply and kindly still isn't your strong suit. You can't just ask a question. "What time are ya thinking?" That's how that's done. THAT would be fair."
And yet, that is EXACTLY what you asked in the very first line. So what would be FAIR is for him to apologize for being an a$$.
