Hi rh, thanks for the encouragement. One thing I realized is that I've kept my mouth shut to them for 5 months now, and doing for that long just helps me keep going with it.
Snodderly, thank you so much for your advice. It helped me so much yesterday. I don't think FIL meant it to hurt me, just to let me know subtly that I am a member of the family.
What is ironic is that he will say "I love you", in a fatherly way of course, but has never asked WTH is wrong with H and me. Granted, he and MIL have never interfered in our relationship at all.
OTOH, my mom immediately questioned me when she perceived something was up, and she could tell just from talking to me on the phone.
Still haven't heard anything about dinner with old girlfriend. What I don't understand is why he didn't tell her straight up he would be busy. He really will be super busy with work for the next month or so.
It would have been easy to tell her when he talked to her last week. At least I don't have to come up with an excuse about not being able to go. I wouldn't want to go on Valentine's Day either.
On the GAL front, last night I played X-box with the boys. I had great fun, and H watched and laughed at my bad playing.
Unfortunately, the game made me kind of queasy. S16 said that I was having my first video game hangover.
I've been trying to find a shooting club close to home for about a year for S14 and S16, with no luck. On Friday, by chance, at another activity, someone mentioned that he participated in this sport. When I asked where, I was pleasantly surprised to find out that it was just 20 minutes from home.
That is what we did yesterday. I asked H if he could go, but he said that he had to go to work.
I called him later in the day, since I wasn't at home, to ask if he knew what time the sporting goods store closed. If I had enough time, I was going to swing by and pick up some needed supplies, and have the boys test out a shotgun model that my dad owns and is going to let the boys borrow. I debated about calling, but I rarely call him, so I figured if it was a mistake, at least it was something different.
H answered his phone and suggested that the boys and I meet him at the store, as he was just about to leave work. So we did. The boys tested the gun. They were happy walking around the store with Dad.
H orders a special cake every year from a bakery in the city we're from. Last night he cut pieces for all of us, and set them on the kitchen table. I had been in the bathroom putting on my pajamas when he did this. When I came out, he called all of us into the kitchen and said that he had been waiting for me. He almost seemed like his regular self.
BTW, the boys had a blast shooting the shotgun with the club yesterday. They were able to borrow one until they get theirs. So that is what we'll be doing every weekend for the foreseeable future.
This morning H said "Happy Valentine's Day" before he said good morning. It was so abrupt, it reminded me of a horse running out of the gate at a race.
I don't think I said it back, I just handed him his bag of candy with a smile. I made little bags of candy like I do every year with hershey's kisses in them for the four boys and him, all the same.
I usually don't do a card. He usually does a funny card, and a mushy wife card. And he usually has it all set up with candy on the kitchen table before I wake up.
He said that he was going to give me mine later.
He told me he would be late tonight because of work.
I heard him whisper something in the hallway before he left to youngest son before he left.
Just a few minutes ago, youngest son tells me to go into the kitchen. Then he brings out a dozen roses and a box of candy which says "Mom" on it from "Boys and H". And a card signed by all of them.
Happy Valentine's Day to you! Wow! Roses and a box of candy! Very nice!
I hope that you are enjoying your day!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
This morning H said "Happy Valentine's Day" .... youngest son ... brings out a dozen roses and a box of candy which says "Mom" on it from "Boys and H". And a card signed by all of them.
That's really sweet
Me54/H47 '08 H is "done" March '12 H moved out Brink of D, December '12 2014 totally reconciled! ...... "I firmly believe in the...absolute possibility of marriage renewal." Jim Conway
Hi snodderly, yes, I'm glad he didn't ignore the day. He did up ending being pretty late, not getting home until about 11 last night. He even called twice while I was out for a walk.
I think that had more to do with finding out about our dryer situation, which S11 filled him in on, so I didn't call him back. I know this must be devastating for laundry man, but the sensor in the dryer is broken, and it will be several days until the part gets in to the repairman. I've been hanging ours outside, but cold cloudy weather has been the norm recently.
H was asking if I knew where a laundromat was. I hope this doesn't tip him over the edge, not being able to do so much laundry
BTW, how is your knee recovery going?
Rh-- I got the family version of the ungame. Planning on playing it Sunday evening. I'm looking forward to it.
It shouldn't take long for the repairman to get a sensor for your dryer. Your h might find it to be very boring going to a laundromat! LOL!
Thank you for asking about my knee recovery. It's a slow process, but each day brings more positives. Still have some bruising, but the incision looks great! I started PT twice a week this week and so far, they have been pleased w/my progress. My mantra is that this is a marathon, not a sprint. I tell myself that every time I do an exercise to strengthen my leg muscles. I'm hoping to be about 95% recovered by spring!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Would you believe the normal turnaround time for a repair from this company is 2-3 weeks? We have a service protection plan which H purchased it two years ago. I am very grateful that it isn't the washer that's broken.
H went to the laundromat yesterday to use the dryers because air drying is causing him awful wrinkles in his clothes. He made a face when I asked him how the laundromat was as far as cleanliness.
Journaling:
H was off work yesterday, but gone running errands for several hours.
I went out to lunch yesterday with a friend. H was gone when I left, but returned home when I was gone to bring clean laundry to the house.
Then he left again. He didn't ask where I had been. I didn't ask where he had been. Some of the errands he ran were for me, so I thanked him.
I'm worried about some things. D27 has been diagnosed with cervical cancer some weeks ago.
From what she told me, it seems to be in an early stage because cryosurgery was the recommended treatment, but she admitted that she really wasn't listening to the doctor after he said the word cancer.
She is very depressed about the breakup of her relationship with D2's father and didn't make the appointment until I insisted that she needed to get it taken care of before it turned into something more serious.
We don't live in the same state, and I'm worried about her. Normally, I would pour out my heart to H. Can't do that now.
I haven't said anything to H about it. H seems to have amputated her out of his life along with me, it's just that she isn't aware of it because they don't talk much. But he hasn't mentioned her name in a very long time, and hasn't asked anything about her. So I'm not sure what to do.
A strange thing also happened yesterday evening. H walked up to me and asked, "Do I feel like I have fever?"
My usual method of diagnosing fever is to put my cheek on his forehead.
No way was I going to do that.
I briefly put my ice cold hand on his forehead, and said I couldn't tell. Then I handed him a thermometer.
I'm very sorry to hear about your D, but I'm glad they caught it early. Maybe a friend could accompany her to her next appointment for support and an extra set of ears. I think it is hard to hear everything a doctor has to say when they are talking about you.
I would consider telling your H. Even though he may not be acting like it, I'm sure he does really care. And it may even be hurtful to him if he thinks you purposely didn't tell him. Just something to think about.
On a lighter note...
Maybe you should hire your H out to do laundry and make some extra money. He can come to my house, I always have loads to do!
Does he like folding and ironing as well?
Hope your H survived his low grade fever lol! I love that you handed him the thermometer
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
I am sorry to hear about your D's health issue. I agree w/T...maybe a friend could go w/her when she goes back to the doctor. A second set of eyes and ears doesn't hurt when it comes to news like what she received. I hope and pray that they were able to catch it early and can take care of the situation for her.
As for your h, I'm w/T...hire him out to do laundry! LOL.
Please take care of yourself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
