Fear, what's that?

[Grocerykartman]

I'm not really a good person to advise you on that question. I've followed your situation for a long time because I can relate to you for some reason more than most, and, I can sometimes help certain guys on this board who are at that particular leg of the journey where they don't know anything about GAL or not to beg and plead and all that sorry sounding stuff. You were there for a while, but then you figured out what you needed to do and also quit doing.

But I'm fairly clueless when it comes how to handle actually saving the marriage or how you should handle this new information you found out if you still want things to work out.

I frankly was done with my XW when I realized what she was up to, but I couldn't give up on the thought of my family being together. Had I not had a daughter, I would've probably just expedited the divorce. But that is NOT the intent of the site, or why you're here. So like I say, hopefully others can chime in on how to acknowledge your wife's affair, act like you care and don't care at the same time, keep your self respect, and yet keep your marriage in a state of limbo long enough to bust the divorce ultimately. All the while continuing to live life for you and your kids and working on you non-stop.

Sounds like it's killing you not to just have it out with her about this, so maybe you should and just get it over with, for YOU. For what it's worth and PLEASE get a second opinion, I'd say nothing like what you proposed above:

Your tablet was on and the chat app was open. I saw something that I guess deep down I already knew. It doesn't change what I want, although Next time she lies to you, CALMLY and with a tone of incredulity, say, "Look W, don't lie to me anymore. I know you're f 'n around on me. I read you tablet the other day when you left it open. I suppose you don't even care anymore than to leave the tablet open, so why bother lying? Just quit the lying already, will ya?" If she asks you any questions about how you feel or what you are gonna do, all you can say is you don't know. Leave it ambiguous and open and in limbo with an I don't know. I would appreciate not being lied to anymore. I am the most forgiving man you will ever know and if that isn't enough for you I wish you nothing but the best. I do hope you find your happiness. No you don't, and it sounds like sad unattractive sarcasm.

That's my 2 cents.