This may be a terrible question but has anyone had thoughts about maybe not wanting to save their M? That hurts me to type that. However, I have been asking myself that recently. Maybe it is because I am so down over the entire sitch. I don't know. Admittedly I am having problems with being resentful toward my W. I am a happy person (was a happy person) and I AM NOT HAPPY! This entire sitch has changed me into someone that I do not want to be. I truly hope that this thought of possibly not wanting to save my M is just a passing feeling. We are definitely doomed if neither one of us are working to save it.
Grizz, I have these feelings to. And how can you not given everything going on. You wouldn't be human if you did not. For me the feelings don't last too long. But I do consider my plan B at times. What would that look like. For me, I really need to do that for my sanity. And you know what, if plan B happens life wouldn't be all bad. Of course I'm still primarily focused on plan A.
I also have feelings of resentment at times but that passes. I don't want to be a victim in this whole mess and I realize I had a 50/50 part in it. I am a glass half full person so have felt that I'll have a happy and fulfilling life regardless of the outcome.
Regarding your statement "This entire sitch has changed me into someone that I do not want to be" what to you mean? Do you feel you've become more negative or jaded or cynical or something like that. If you stick with GAL activities and learning from the experience you'll become a better person and that is good. Remember what so many people say on this board - PMA. Got to have PMA no matter what happens and no expectations of reconcilation. You have to have PMA for yourself.
I think it's ok to have negative feelings and let them roll thru you, but not consume you.
