I am reading, working out and backing way off on contact with W. Only talking when she wants and listening and validating. I truly want her to succeed.
I'm glad to hear this. It does get easier over time. Wanting her to success is the right attitude. And your GAL activities are right on.
Originally Posted By: jp787
I have a request. I know that I am an emotionally abusive husband. I have searched high and low for resources on help for someone like myself to change from this way of thinking/acting, but can only find information for women who are in relationships with emotionally abusive men. If anyone has any links to article or books, I would appreciate it. FYI, I am starting up with a new IC and will hopefully be able to address this there also.
Not sure if this book is good for your situation, but I am currently reading. "Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love". It is related to Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). Basically looks deeper than the issues at the surface. It really goes into building emotional connection and how partners communicate in a broken relationship. So far I like it and see some things in there that are true for my sitch. Kindle version was not too expensive. Anyway, like I said to you before I pick certain things out of the books I am reading but have no delusions that I'll find the answers to my problems. Just useful information to help me grow.
Originally Posted By: jp787
W requested I just be a friend to her right now. Wow that hurt!!! I said absolutely! Even though it stings bad, I think it is a great place to start and be with her.
If you look at the friendship ladder (as my IC explained) - intimate partner / close friend / friend / acquaintance / enemy - you are doing ok at the friendship level and given your sitch that is an ok place to be. Better than the enemy level!
