I was the cheater. This is what I had to do to regain the very beginning of my wife's trust. I will have to do this the rest of my life. If I breach it she will have EVERY RIGHT to suspect me.
1) A complete openness to any question she wants to ask about my infidelity and my current daily going's on.
2) Full access to ALL my communication. Email, text, phone, IM at any time she desires. That means I give her all my pass codes. She has the right to pick up my smart phone at any time and read my emails, texts and look at phone numbers. (I can't tell you how relieving it is to not have to worry that she'll find something)
3) Participating in ongoing joint counselling. (It is now focused not on my infidelity, but how to improve our marriage) Not only is it helping our marriage, but it gives her confidence that I am not cheating because it would be impossible to continue the deceit in that setting.
If your husband isn't willing to live with this structure then I think you have every right to question his honesty.
I believe he owes your mutual relationship this level of transparency not necessarily as a penance for his transgressions, but because that's what people who love and respect each other do.
Brilliant Post!!!
You including a cheating spouse's [u]openness to TALK about their past infidelity as part of the full transparency agreement[/u] is worth five stars ALONE! This is great stuff.
