Does anyone have tips on how to stay asleep at night? I go to sleep fine but wake up about 3 am and can't go back to sleep. Would prefer not to have to take something.
Are you staying away from alcohol and caffeine at night? Alcohol in the evening can cause you to wake up a few hours into the night. Caffeine can make it harder to fall asleep.
Plenty of exercise and no naps will also help. As will keeping the room fully dark, with cool temp.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
I agree wih all FY said about the sleep. But sometimes sleep just won't come, I know. So sometimes I just had the concept (got the idea here) of resting in bed. Knowing that was the best I could do for my body at the time. Then I would baby myself the next day after a sleepless night. There were nights that I only really slept one hour. But often it was my own fault for looking for pics of my H on FaceBook. Never a worthwhile activity.
It does get better. I now sleep very well most nights. And it will get better for you too.
Another helpful thing I've done is read on this forum in the middle of the night. Current sitches and archives. It helps to know you aren't alone. And it helped me to know my sitch wasn't nearly as bad as it could be. And it helps to know there is somewhat of a map for the future.
Me54/H47 '08 H is "done" March '12 H moved out Brink of D, December '12 2014 totally reconciled! ...... "I firmly believe in the...absolute possibility of marriage renewal." Jim Conway
Thanks. FY I quit caffeine in my 20s and never touch alcohol.
rH, I sure hope it does. I was doing fairly well, but this week not so much.
W came in and told me about a dream she had last night. FOR THOSE OF YOU KEEPING SCORE AT HOME THE FOLLOWING IS A DREAM--I AM NOT IN ANY TRUE DANGER--She and I were walking in the woods and another male approached us in a threatening manner. She stated that I didn't even wait for this person to say or do anything, instead I went all WWE on him and whipped his tail. She and I end up at her childhood home. She's inside and I'm out, when she looks out the window and notices the guy walking into the yard with a gun. She then states, "being your normal self and having no fear", you start after the guy. She starts running around the house looking for a gun before I get myself killed. She can't find one and then wakes up.---DREAM OVER
We both had a good laugh about it. I didnt ask but I hope he was a really big dude. Strictly for my own ego. I hope the hero (or brave fool) gets the girl in the end.
M - 42 W- 37 S's - 9,6 M-12 T-14 FIL- diagnosed with fatal disease spring 2011 ILYBNILWY - march '12 FIL - died jan '13 W Moved out week later
Agree with RH..read, read and read. It will get better. Like RH I would always consider that I was resting even though I wasn't sleeping. After many nights of little sleep you will crash. You will wake up feeling good and you will learn to look forward to those times. Get as much exercise as you can also.
You could try a product from a health food store called Rescue Sleep, it is made by Bach. They also make Rescue Remedy which worked really well for me when I was stressed.
What everyone else said too. You are living on adrenalin right now and eventually it runs out.
Lavender essential oils helps for sleep too. I put a few drops on the bottom of my pillow and also have a diffuser. I am up at 3am no matter what with being pregnant, and I find I'm not tired enough to get back to sleep, so my mind starts spinning. I think it helps if you read something or watch something on tv for a little bit and get your mind off of thinking. I can usually go back to sleep if I can do that.
M38,H39 M:16Y BD:8/12 OWDB:11/12 S:11/12-5/13 "Temp" home:6/13 OW dropped:9/13 "I love you":12/13 H ring on:2/14 Depression back:5/15 "I'm done:" 7/15 H moved out: 3/16 H moved back: 12/16 Working on us: 3/17
Does anyone have tips on how to stay asleep at night? I go to sleep fine but wake up about 3 am and can't go back to sleep. Would prefer not to have to take something.
Are you staying away from alcohol and caffeine at night? Alcohol in the evening can cause you to wake up a few hours into the night. Caffeine can make it harder to fall asleep.
Plenty of exercise and no naps will also help. As will keeping the room fully dark, with cool temp.
If you won't take something, does that include melatonin? If not, most doctors recommend it.
As a woman who has hit 50, I keep hearing that hormonal changes are affecting my sleep. All I know for sure is that I have trouble falling asleep AND staying asleep.
My doctor prescribed something, BUT then added, "if you try melatonin, forget about the 3 mg dose. Take 6-9 mgs..."
Hey, that's what she told ME, but I am not a physician. I'm just passing it on...
ALSO I recorded some soothing audio books that I now listen to with all the lights off at bed time. The Power Of Now book is read by the author. Man, don't read it while driving or you'll fall asleep. Mind you, I LIKE the book but his VOICE is soothing...AND like I said, soothing is key. Don't listen to a scary murder mystery or someone who is too high energy talking about "Getting Rich in 90 days"...
I also read recently that the lighting of a computer's screen supposedly messes up our sleep cycle, and I THINK (but I'm not sure), that TV lighting may as well. Something about how the light affects our bio-rhythms, etc.
Reading helps ME as well, but if I LOVE the book, I tend to stay up reading more of it.
So Sometimes I do word puzzles or Sudoku, that require enough thought to not let my mind wander to a bad place or obsess,
but easy enough not to keep me awake in frustration.
Good luck.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
I think dreams are significant. Does she consider her childhood home a safe place or not so safe place?
I think she wants you to protect her/love her but she may be afraid the boogie man will get you like it got her dad. She tried to save her dad but couldnt find the gun and she wont be able to save you.
---- M 39 H 35 D5,D4 M 4 T 9 ILYBNILWY 5/18/11 Left 7/11/11 Divorced 12/1/13
Funny thing, that's twice someone has mentioned the rescue remedy to me today.
Thanks to everyone for their suggestions. That gives me several things to consider, though I'm afraid watching tv would cause me to stay awake more.
Bklynm, she does consider her childhood home a safe place. I'm curious to know what you think she's saving me from? Her father struggled with alcohol and then passed away from a terminal illness. She couldn't save him from either. At this point I don't feel like I need to be saved from anything, but maybe it's a general anxiety for her that she can't save me from eventual death. Part of what she, and apparently, most mlcers struggle with is mortality. She will learn that she cannot save anyone from death. None of us can.
She is very distant again tonight. She has sent me several nice chatty texts, but when we're in the same room she closes up. I'm not pursuing, just observing. Actually, it's a pattern I've noticed for the last few weeks. She gets more distant the closer to the weekend we get.
M - 42 W- 37 S's - 9,6 M-12 T-14 FIL- diagnosed with fatal disease spring 2011 ILYBNILWY - march '12 FIL - died jan '13 W Moved out week later
She can't save you from the boogie man. She can't save you from the monster in the closet. It's not something real. You are exactly right the same thing she couldn't save her father from and that is death.
---- M 39 H 35 D5,D4 M 4 T 9 ILYBNILWY 5/18/11 Left 7/11/11 Divorced 12/1/13
