Something H said make me curious though...H claims he doesn't remember half the nasty things he said to me.
I've experienced this as well. Not so much nasty or mean things, but W seems to have an extremely short memory when it comes to any kind of R or M comments. It's pretty strange because she's always had a fantastic memory, but ever since BD it's gotten spotty, and it seems to be spotty only about R and M stuff. I'm getting quite used to hearing "I don't remember ever saying that." LOL! I do think she's being genuine too, her body language and facial expressions tell me she really doesn't remember it. Seems to be fairly common not just with WAS's but with MLCers too.
I know that doesn't make it any easier for you to stomach what he said, and even if he doesn't remember it he SHOULD apologize for it (because hopefully he trusts you enough to know you're not making it up). I'm just mentioning it to let you know that he is probably being genuine when he says he doesn't remember.
Originally Posted By: TheBestMeICanBe
A.S. >>My IC was glad to see that I am mentally in a better place.She believes that everyone has a point of no return and although we love our partners, if the partner does not turn things around while the window to our hearts are open,the window of opportunity gets narrower and narrower.
This sounds like the older traditional approach to IC. Michele talks about this a bit in the beginning of DR, about how traditional IC is all about preparing the spouses to leave the marriage rather than trying to save it at all costs. It's based on the assumption that once people make the choice to end things, there's no turning it around and IC is all about helping them to end things in the cleanest way possible. Obviously Michele disagrees with this approach now although I think she said she was originally schooled in that approach. Her attitide now is that people can ALWAYS change their minds and hearts and the answer isn't to make D as easy as possible, the answer is to pave the way for the WAS to change their mind and come back to the marriage, and to make sure the M they come back to is far superior to what they were in before. Your H loved you at one point, and then decided he didn't love you, and now has decided he loves you again. You in turn loved him, and now are not sure you do. BUT... you CAN change your mind again just like he did and like many others have. Just give yourself some time to sort it through
