Is this cake eating 11

[keep_going]

NLW,

We are all here worried about you and want to make sure you protect yourself - I hope you can see that in everyone's advice.

I agree that you should not be intimidated by threats. Ignoring spewing or mean comments by your H is a good approach. I also think there is something to say for diffusing a situation and i believe you can do both.

When your H acts mean or threatens, you can ignore. When he asks you a question, you can simply respond in a timely manner to end the discussion. As Advina says, sometimes it's better to respond right away just to diffuse and settle the issue.

Having healthy boundaries doesn't mean you have to react angrily or be mean. It may seem like a contradiction or a hard act to balance, but how great is it to be able to state what we need in a calm and pleasant tone. I believe that for us to get to that place emotionally, detachment is huge.

All the legal stuff will sort itself out in the end - let go of the anxiety, lean on your lawyer and instead focus on yourself and the kids, which is something you can control.

Take care!
((((NLW)))))