You've definitely got your hands full. I might have a different view than many people but, here's my take: If I tell someone I'm going to do something and then intentionally do not follow thru - I'd have to consider that a lie because I did so in order to achieve a goal; i.e.: getting my W off my back. So yes, that act could easily be a lie.
Forgetting is another story altogether - yes, I have forgotten to do something I said I would and I've shown remorse because I actually DID intend to do that and I DID FORGET. I've not been there to see your H's reaction to these types of things, so I'm not qualified to judge.
Originally Posted By: CV
I'm living with a "child" that demands that I have sex with him, or else. And I'm told that's a healthy boundary of his.
I'm sorry, I have to disagree with this being a healthy boundary. Why is it he can have a boundary that requires you to have sex with him, but, he doesn't have to respect you and your boundaries? There's nothing healthy about that.
As for gaslighting (definition below - this thread made me look it up...)
(a form of psychological abuse in which false information is presented with the intent of making a victim doubt his or her own memory, perception and sanity.[1] Instances may range simply from the denial by an abuser that previous abusive incidents ever occurred, up to the staging of bizarre events by the abuser with the intention of disorienting the victim)
If your H is indeed doing things like this, I would lean towards him being diabolical, despicable, and evil. Again, it's one man's opinion, but, there has to be some forethought involved in these actions, and certainly a lack of self accountability or respect for you.
