Wife lost in the MLC-We are now separated 2

[sam4nh]

I had a pretty good session with IC the other night. My IC had been our MC for several years and she helped with some of the tough times, arguments and with communication issues we seemed to be having at the time. We discussed our impending divorce and she was not surprised that my W is going down this path.

For the last two years my W has been engaged in an EA and we had been working on it while seeing the MC. Our MC (now my IC) was trying to work with us on the issues and patterns around why my W having the EA and helping her break free of the EA. My W vehemently denies she was having an EA, but prefers to call it a phenomenal deep connection with OW. My W would have her daily ups and downs with whether she trusted the OW, was being manipulated by this person or on other days that she was just “in love” with her and their connection.

One of the biggest things that sticks in my mind is when my W would say things like, I want to look back on my life and have no regrets and be proud of myself and what I’ve done. Last night the IC asked me if I thought my W had any morals or values. I think deep down, she really does…I’m just not sure how deep they are buried and if or when they will resurface.

Another strange question my IC asked was whether I thought my W was using drugs and/or alcohol excessively. She said with all of the strange behavior she started to see when W abruptly left MC to now when I’m sharing some of the actions/inactions she is displaying, she thinks that there could be the possibility that she is excessively drinking or taking some kind of drugs. I’m not sure of anything.

About five years back when she thought she had found her “soul mate" (I would classify this as my W pursuing and this he potential OW shutting it down, but I think this was maybe the first bounce into this wonderful world of fun), my W drank very heavily to the point of being ill, crying at the top of her lungs and eventually needing to be put to bed. This occurred about two-three times per week during this time.

I think one of the hardest things over the last week since my grandmother died, was that my W did not reach out to my dad to offer any condolences. I’m absolutely astonished at her lack of compassion with him. She sent me the text about loving me and my family, but that seems to be all she is capable of doing…My father is truly hurt and he’s not one to show emotion, but he’s said a couple of times it doesn’t make sense to him.