Bklyn With Love

[BklynMom]

thks 2 and rh. I am proud of myself. I have come a long long way but its still so freakin hard. I remember I need to do what works and what works is Alanon meetings, medication, therapy and writing here. It taken a lot of time and money for me come closer to peace.

Here is the email I got from H this morning. Thoughts would be great.

Hey. I know this is a sucky situation, and i wouldn't try to coat it any other way, but i feel like we are close on the parenting agreement. I'm wondering how you feel about it and also wondering how we can help finish this whole thing. I am not angry. And i am not pointing a finger in any direction. I do feel like we are two smart people (well, i'm a dim witted ape and you can't spell, so maybe we are two capable people) and we can figure this thing out. I ask for a couple reasons - the simplest but by no means the most important, financially, my L has received about the same it's gonna cost for D4s freshman year of college. Also, i ask because i think it well help us as parents, i really do. If we can finish this, i think it will help us deal with each other and also have better plans for the girls. I also ask, because personally I am still living in a place i thought i'd be bolting out of at the end of my one year lease - so everything is temporary, and i haven't invested time, effort and energy into making this a real home for D4 and D2. Not that it's lacking any necessity, but it's not "home", if that makes any sense. Feels like i'm on location. And I'd like to make a "home" for the girls where i live too.

Practically speaking, i worry because you are starting a job soon (congratulations on that), but it seems like when we are working nothing gets done, and i start my next job before you wrap. The process we have been in for the last 18 months is amazingly slow. I don't know how it normally happens, but a letter or draft, then between 2 and 6 weeks for a response that only leads to more letters seems a little nuts to me. Again, i am not pointing a finger at anyone, it could very well be my attorney or me, or maybe it's just the path that we went down in the beginning and we can't recover from it, any which way, i think it would be good for all involved to figure some way out of this. I thought in december we made some big headway and when my job wrapped i thought we were gonna tie things up, but that hasn't happened. is there any thing that we could adjust in the way we are operating to help?

ok. getting to the nuts and bolts a bit. It seems like the only thing in the parenting agreement that we aren't on the same page with is the (and i am probably using the wrong term) moving radius. I don't want to limit where you and the girls live. i just want us to share in the pickups and drop offs if we live far apart (like more than 15/20 miles). I just think it would be really hard on a shooting weekend to drive to say new jersey (if you wanted to live near your cousins or something) twice, or even more, getting a sitter to drive there on a friday, bring them back to the city and stay till dawn. maybe a certain distance triggers you dropping them off, and/or if i'm shooting a saturday morning pickup if we live far from each other. i don't know B(nick name), but i think us talking about this last issue (and please correct me if there is more than this one thing) will be a lot more productive than your dad and dan sending re-written drafts to each other.

If this is not comfortable for you, i'm open to any ideas. Do you want to meet with me and talk?

I am totally off the reservation with this email. i don't want you to think this is a play here."""

I wrote back

""Thanks for the email. I will think about it.

Honestly the whole thing still hurts so bad I don't want to be a puddle"""


Also my father/my lawyer told me that my husbands law firm was in the law newspaper today for shady unethical behavior which they deny. My father has already told me his law firm is terrible and is ripping him off. I emailed H and let him know about the article.