Portia, Your posting is wonderful and spot on and yes, let it be for a while.
We all understand how you feel, but now is not the time to be making life changing decisions. You have a lot on your plate and you are going through some really tough emotional times. For now, let's keep the focus on you and what will help you to become healthy and whole once again. Time really is on your side. Okay. What is the harm in letting things be for a while until at least you get through the tough days ahead w/testing and possible surgery?
Maybe you aren't aware of this, but your h's comments are all mlc script. Each and everyy poster has heard some form of this and yes, they want to be friends, blah, blah, blah. They don't have those romantic feelings towards us, etc. Why? Because they are depressed and those feels are stuffed down and they become emotionally numb towards us.
BRNR, you have to have faith in God, your h and yourself. You have to try to remain positive! I know things look very dark right now, but there is light out there and there have been some positives in your situation. At least your h isn't acting like a raving lunatic right now and you can speak to him about things. Please put your faith in God and allow him to do the necessary work on your h to make him a mature man and some day to return to your marriage and home.
Mlc is not a sprint, but a marathon and it takes a long, long time for them to work through this. AD's and counseling only take the edge off the situation, it will not cure them. The work has to be done by them and them alone.
Please, please take care of yourself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
