So, I backslid a little. No excuses, I was fully aware of what I was doing and why.
I called xSO. We hadn't talked for three days. Luckily, the call went well and we chatted about this and that. Mostly about what is going on with him. We talked a little of my parent (but not until I brought it up).
It seems he has noticed that I have not been calling. He said several times that he was glad I called and that it was good to hear my voice. In fact at the end of the conversation, he actually said, well you dont' call here much anymore. I apologized (more of a reaction) and he cut me off and said he understood. I wondered what it was that he "understood"? But I let it go.
We also talked a bit about his mom and her illness. I told him he always had my support and he replied he knew he could count on me to always be there. Yikes. I really meant only to communicate that if he really needed me to help deal with his mom, I would be there. As I would for any friend. I did not want to communicate that he would never "lose" me or that I would stay stuck. I need to be more careful.
This friends zone is a strange place to be. Because if he does date or go out with someone else, this time I have no cause to complain, he is single now. But I will cross that bridge when I get to it.
