A lot of your situation sounds familiar to me. My W moved out last spring. I pleaded with her to stay, approached her in a way that just made things worse, and eventually got into IC. I wish you well in your journey. I know the pain you're going through. The advice you're getting here sounds spot on, to me.
One suggestion I'd make is to be as consistent and positive as you can be. You mention emotional breakdowns and going back and forth on decisions. I can say from experience that this will only drive her further away. If you can calmly stick with a decision (moveout/stay, allow divorce to proceed/request some time) it will help.
H: 38 xW: 38 M: 16 T: 18 S: 9 BD: 2/2012 W moved out 4/2012 D: 11/2012
