This is such a painful thing to hear. I know I got it a couple of months ago and then to a lesser degree just last weekend. It still hurts even after all this time. But not as much. It does get better.
You've gotten some good advice.
Do start living your life for you. Act as if.
And work on that control thing, letting go of that and not worrying so much about what others thought of me has been such a gift for me.
But it takes a lot of digging into who you want to be and what's important to you to get there.
You can do this.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss