What you are hearing is standard script I believe.
I asked him WHY if he "cares me for so much" that he treats me like $hit? He said he didn't mean too but thought that if he was nice in any way that I might misread it to be him "coming back" or "regaining his feelings."
He is adament that his feelings for OW will not change and that his feelings for me (not in love) won't either. He's not willing to explore this possibility w me.
For some reason their minds will 'never change' yet funnily enough they said the same things to us when they decided to marry us.
And the thing about them not being nice for fear WE will be misled? To be honest? I am starting to think that if they allowed themselves to be nice, they are the ones that might start rethinking their decisions about us. They are afraid to connect. Being cold and adamant with us makes it easier for them to stick with their decisions about OW/OM I think. When they are cold and adamant , they expect us to react in a negative, pleading, angry way....and that justifies their position even more in their heads.
So don't let how he is affect you at all. Respond to him in the way you would respond to a neighbor because that is just who you are...a kind and compassionate person.
It may take awhile GTO.
Try not to let his hurtful words get absorbed into your system. There may be more to come still and you need to work on YOU. HIs actions are NOT a reflection of you right now. This is all him. Let him go.
I know easier said than done. I am still working on it myself and I am in 2.5.
Love you GTO.
((((((((( )))))))))
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
