What I'm learning from H stages, myself!

[albamarie]

I have been told over and over that I will know when I am done with my H and ready to let him know. Tonight I let him know, he answered his cell when it was ea, his reasoning is at least now everything is out in the open and he's not sneaking around. She is his friend...that's it and I have to deal! He was not nasty but very matter of fact!

I said no, you don't get to stomp your foot and tell me what I will accept, you will not lord over me, you choose to have your one unexceptable friend in exchange for all 5 of us so you live in the face of that decision and I will not allow you to bring it around me, or my family.

He said he's not choosing his friend in exchange for us, he's not loosing us. I said your the only one who doesn't see that this family has turned against you, your the only one who doesn't see that because of ea we will never be a family or heal or move ahead because of the sneaky disrespect, and lies you bring to this house everyday.

If she is regarded as so important because she saved your life from suicide that you will be friends with her no matter who it hurts, then you have chosen her. You have put her above all else! Every time you go there, answer that phone, call her, you have made the dision that she is most important.

He denies it....he says she's not most important, I am better and higher than her. I said, everyday you show me, that is a lie! Your actions undo every word that comes out of you mouth. I also said, "you have taught me to sit in my room alone, to warm myself up, to sooth my own wounds, to sleep alone, and to except that we are done"!

I am not a rock, and I will not live without L and attention, and I for sure will not sit here and endure you, talking and hanging out with ea come this spring and summer, when I could be moving forward with my family without the presence of your black cloud once you get home. If I, as you say, and this small house are reminders of your failures then get far away from here, go!

He came at me with, I don't have feeling like that for you anymore, almost jumping up and down he said this! I said I'm a loving, sexual person who's been left alone to learn how to forget about you, well mission accomplished. Your words of ILYBINILWY don't hurt me anymore, so nice try!

After all those go's, get out, go live with her comments, he still then looks at me and says I will have to ask him to leave. I thought I was just doing that!

I said, you just told me you don't need a mother, though she tells go home...go clean you basement for your wife...make sure you eat...drive safe...here's some gas money! Now you need me to what, be the bad guy so you can be the victim...all he says is no, it's because he doesn't want to move out, he's not going to volunteer.

Does he not hear the 9x within our conversation that I said go? Why does he need to say, then ask me, and hear it again? I feel challenged at that point as if he feels he is taking me just to the point of what...not going though with one finale "get out"? I don't like that challenge...I don't like feeling as if he is now one actually in charge, as if he is now "telling" me to make him leave!

Does that make sense...it's a twisted game he's playing...so far I have not taken the bait. Please tell me what you think here! It feels like manipulation, even though he will loose, unless that's when he's going to say, NO! Humm! just thought of that one!