If anything I like the sense of community here. I think we have all sometimes been given advice that we didn't like or didn't use, its just that for some reason i felt the need to actually say that yesterday.
I was only saying that sometimes, at least FOR ME, some of the advice given made me spin my wheels, especially when conflicting advise was given.
MrBond, I was not trying to teach you all anything. I know you have spent years on the board and i see the sheer volume of of your posts daily and it is obvious you are dedicated to helping people. That is admirable. That is why I said CLEARLY that the advise from you and other veterans was priceless for me.
I was not trying to teach anyone anything. I said numerous times in my post that THIS IS MY OPINION at this time, and that this opinion may change over time.
I'm not trying to be smart or more educated or to tell anyone they I am better. Again, I was stating my opinion as to what causes ME to get "stuck" with no direction. When two or three posters comment on my sitch in the same day, and their views are different, i think you can appreciate how that can make a noob confused. After all, I have only been at this less than 3 months!! I was trying to say it is easier to follow a set strategy when you have a DB coach.
Anyway, back and focused now. Lets get down to business!
25yearsmlc had commented on a post I wrote that referred to how I compliment my W, or the lack of compliments. I'm trying to work on that. It is not that it doesn't come naturally to me, it is that for over a decade my W has not always felt my compliments were sincere.
Any major problem is she would PROMPT me to give a compliment, and then when I did she would say I was only saying that because she prompted me.
Well now that she is not waiting for me to compliment her, I think I need to focus on making my compliments sincere.
Anyone know of how I can learn this? Are there any books that deal with complimenting? I might search online and read some articles.
As you can see, I like to read and learn. Then I can apply much better than simply saying "I need to be more sincere in my compliments".. I need to read the how to's.
Thank you all for sticking with me! I really am thankful for your help, despite sometimes seeming to not. I like to journal on here of different frames of mind that I go through (like yesterday I felt some conflicting advise was holding me back). One day I will read over all my posts and reminisce.
Me, H-34 now 38 W-32 now 35 T-13 now 18 years M-6 now 9 Daughter 3 years now 7 Bomb 11/27/12 - OM 1 year in house separation Reconciliation 12/2013. Healed now 2017
