You can agree or disagree, and either way you end up divorced.
What are you scared of? Agreeing is not a tactic. It is just not fighting a useless battle. Are you scared that if you agree he'll really go through with it? Is your disagreement the only thing preventing him from going through with it? And is it preventing him?
I really thoroughly 1000% did NOT want a divorce. And at the beginning I met with my lawyer and said "he wants this, not me." And in the middle when H asked me to go ask my L to draw up papers so we could save time and money using just one L, I went in there and said, "he wants this, not me." And both times L said, well then what are you doing here? Go home and tell him to get his own divorce. I didn't want to lift a finger to put it in motion. BUT - H never had to doubt for a second that I don't want this. It's quite obvious. I've come around to accepting that this is what he's going to do. I have legal and financial advisors, and I'm going to do what I need to to protect myself and my children. I don't like it, I'm not happy about it, I wish it were different, but it's what H wants and I have to respect that.
I'm letting him go. I'm not being cold or mean, and I'm not trying to make him feel bad about it. It is quite clear even to me, that this marriage is not worth being in right now. H has no intention of ever making it something worth being in. Intellectually, I do not want to be divorced. But given the marriage I have now, with no love, no affection, no communication, no intimacy, no interest in me as a person or in my life, absolutely nothing at all, if my L asked me today do I want a divorce I'd say yes, let's get this paperwork done. The damage that living this way for two years has done to my children has been devastating to me, and it's time for them to see that this is not what a marriage is.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
