Wow, i am really dealing with a cold heart here. Just received an email from stbx:
Hi,
I have noticed there is a scheduling issue between the court date for the divorce and our mediation meeting. Are you still able to attend the mediation meeting?
Thanks STBX
Think I'll email back:
"Sure, And given that we'll be freshly divorced by the time the mediation meeting ends (12 noon), what say we go out for a celebratory drink afterwards?
I need you to make it sound like your decision because IT IS your decision.
"I will be at the mediation as that is most important to me."
Is it bordering on mental cruelty? Probably. I'm sure we could debate that until the end of time. And, yes, you ARE sensitive. Totally strange to be sensitive in your situation. I don't know... I mean you had your whole life turned upside down and you're sensitive. Totally unacceptable
Give yourself a break, sweetie. You're doing the best you know how to do. And you know what? I'm proud of you! I think you're doing great!
I should have pointed out that there is no requirement for either of us to attend the D hearing. And indeed, on his application, stbx indicated he would not be present.
So, we will be sitting together in another office, sort of 'disregarding' the fact that the D is happening as we speak.
Only for me, though.
For him, the M has been over for years.
It's all just about what you tell yourself, I suppose.
H has said he will only attend mediation if i agree to discuss his settlement proposal without asking for any further analysis/documentation of his finances.
Given that he's just stopped paying any money for child support and won't pay school fees, I suppose we could talk about these issues productively.
STBX is really flipping out. He sent the email I mentioned in my previous post at 10.30 last night, asking me if I was still going to attend the mediation meeting given that it was scheduled at the same time as the D hearing. It is a month away.
When I hadn't replied by midday (I was seeing Lawyer at 2pm and wanted to ask his opinion), he flipped me:
"Can you confirm that this mediation date will still be going ahead. I haven't had your reply yet?"
Then, when I returned home at 3.30pm, I saw that he had sent the following at 1.20pm:
"Unless you respond to my request I will discontinue my payments to you. I cannot continue to support you when you are taking such pains to make things difficult for me."
I simply replied that the mediation date was OK with me, and pointed out that he had stopped paying me already. Asked if he could tell me what was going on with the child support payments.
He seems very wound up and agitated. I'm starting to feel sorry for him again. He sounds desperate and confused.
Haven't heard anything back from him at all.
L says we are back at square 1. Until stbx provides full details of his financial situation, we can't proceed.
So, just had to pay a L a few $1,000 to tell his L what all of us already knew.
My H would be like that. Gets fixated on some detail and all anxious and shoots me text after text. Ignore, don't feel sorry for him, detach. But also, don't antagonize him. You could have replied at 10:30 the previous night, or to the mid-day message, that you were going to let him know by the end of the next day. All that time you knew that, but you let him think you weren't responding to his simple question, and being "difficult." Just my 2 cents.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
