H seems to have some boundaries. For instance, he sounds as if he is unwilling to live in a sexless marriage.
But I agree that you BOTH need to work on healthy boundaries.
If you keep doing something in counseling that doesn't work, why not do something different? Get the agreements in writing, work on them together, then sign them with a witness.
FWIW, over-functioning is a symptom of codependency, not something distinct. Perhaps you might try working a program yourself. Stop trying to fix H for awhile. Stop concentrating on his flaws. Work on yourself.
