CV, I'll tell you what my mom told me and what you already know. If you want to stay married, you can! If you are willing to live with your H's conditions, then you can stay in it. But at what cost? What is it costing you? If it's nothing, then you're golden. But if it's constant darkness, then you are giving too much away. Like the song says, "did they get you to trade... cold comfort for change?"
Don't envy me because it's still a roller coaster ride from he!!. Yesterday was a good day. Today is a bad one. I want to run home. I'm lonely and I'm out of my element and I'm not finding much comfort today... even cold comfort. To answer your question, H would engage when he was sober. However his sober moments became fewer and fewer. And perhaps there's some wisdom to the advice that I shouldn't engage so much, only I can't cut him off. I have no ability to do that to him or just about anyone I care about. It's funny, CV. I didn't sleep at all last night. I was very troubled when I woke up this morning. My H always texts me good morning. This morning was no different. What was weird was that after I texted him good morning back, he called immediately (which he doesn't do). He asked me if I was ok because I didn't seem right. Asked if I was feeling well. And THAT, right there, is what is so hard. There's comfort in someone who reads you so well. And he does. Simply off of one brief exchange, he knew I was not ok. This is painful as he!!. I alternate between hope and hopelessness. I want to feel like I'm moving forward. I never do, though. Sigh.
