I understand how you feel. It took me about 4 years to stop comparing others to my xh. What you are experiencing is very normal and you were w/your h a long time.
Please don't be too hard on yourself. You are still very "new" to the data arena and it does take time to get over that "hump" of comparing. However, one day you will discover that you aren't doing it any longer and when you do this...you will discover that you will enjoy exploring and meeting new people w/o the comparison to your xh.
Be kind to yourself. I think you are being too hard on yourself and you need to let up a bit. You are a wonderful person and it does take time to heal and move forward.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
