Thank you, GTO, for your words! You guys keep me going!
GTO, I visited your thread, but it seems to have been locked. You'll have to start a new one. Take care of yourself and rest.
I didn't sleep well last night thinking about the whole FB thing. My ego returns and wants to seek public humiliation for what he's done and is still doing. But my true self knows this will only bring more negative energy. I'm coming up with ways to diffuse these negative thoughts so I can put it down in my book.
My L is on vacation till next Thursday, so I'll have to go to the meeting on Friday with the info I can gather on my own...
i have those late night thoughts as well at times and they are really painful. i have been doing two things.
1) repeating "may i be happy. may i be at peace." this takes the focus off of W and Ow in my mind.
2) letting go of W and releasing her into God's hands. lately i have been saying "she is yours and so am I" I added the last part to remind myself that God is caring for me right now in so many ways, by sheparding my growth and even by not having us together, as W is not in a place that would be good for me.
Why does your mom still have your H as a friend on FB??? Ask her to unfriend him, as everything on there concerning him just brings you negativity regarding him.
Thanks for your well wishes. I haven't posted on my own thread in the past couple of days. So much stuff going on w me. I'll try to catch up tonite.
Hope you have had a good weekend!
M- 18 T-21 S-14,11 & 10 BD 6-18-2012 (OW-EA) H moved out 11-3-2012 10-5-13 Me- I want a divorce. I want to move on w my life. 11-25-13 Jointly filed.
Grace, thank you for sharing what you do to eliminate the painful thoughts. I realized I just have to let them happen instead of fighting them, and then surrounding myself with everything that raises my energy level. This worked. I started reading Power vs. Force. Amazing book. I recommend it.
GTO, he unfriended my mom yesterday. She wrote a comment under the pictures asking him to show respect because he was still married to her daughter. A few minutes later, he deleted her comment and unfriended her. He also unfriended the person who told me about the pictures in the first place. Whatever. His behavior is so insignificant in the whole scheme of life and what really matters. I'm so ready to send him out of my life for good, and live a really happy, God-realized life. Can't wait for that.
GTO, did you start a new thread? Yours was locked...I'll check.
Now I have to get through Friday's meeting. I'll keep you all posted.
Got an email from him with two pictures of frogs attached (I like frogs.)
"Hi, W.
I’m looking forward to seeing you at lunch tomorrow. Attached are two frog pictures that I saw that I thought you would probably like. Also, I got your note about Facebook and sort of understand where you are coming from, so I’ll try to be conscious about that.
See you tomorrow. H"
I think he might've gotten some advice about it being stupid to do something like this (post the FB pics with OW) right before we meet to negotiate the D agreement. I don't think he is mature enough to see this on his own. I also doubt he took the pictures down, esp now that he knows I can't see them through my friend or through my mom. Whatever. I will make sure I go to our meeting with fairness in mind and also with a pure business mind. At this point, the kind of R we have after D doesn't really matter to me. Sad, but true.
Hey Tori, not such a bad thing to be FB unaware...you know?
Good luck with the meeting. Bring the detached business Tori and leave night time Tori behind, okay? She can room with night time Turtle and night time Ruby... :P
Good luck at your meeting w H tomorrow, Tori. Keep your goals and objectives at the forefront of your interactions and don't let H or your "soft spot" for him deter you from accomplishing these.
I'll be thinking of you & sending lots of prayers your way! -turtle
M- 18 T-21 S-14,11 & 10 BD 6-18-2012 (OW-EA) H moved out 11-3-2012 10-5-13 Me- I want a divorce. I want to move on w my life. 11-25-13 Jointly filed.
Thank you, my good friends. Softie Tori is staying home tomorrow. I think she might be staying home for good!
It actually feels good to be on my own tonight. I can leave my planner/personal notes out bc no one will be snooping around and reading them. I don't have to clean after anyone, or give massages, or watch a TV show with negative messages/violence, or listen to Eminem, or do all the things I did to please a H who did not appreciate me. I'm at peace. I've continued writing the book and the ideas are just flowing. I'm really excited about it.
I appreciate your thoughts and prayers. Will be thinking about you and your words.
I'm so ready to send him out of my life for good, and live a really happy, God-realized life. Can't wait for that.
Since you guys don't have kids, there's no reason to remain part of his life if you don't want to. Same over here. The way I see it, if my wife doesn't want to fully be my wife (within some reasonable amount of time) or if she has an affair and refuses to end it, then we will not be buddies.
I'll never be mean to her of course, but I don't see her plan of divorcing and remaining best friends working for me. This isn't because I want to hurt her or cut her off, it's just that being only friends with my W of nearly 30 years when I clearly want more would just be too painful for me.
You're continuing to grow stronger as you move forward Tori, I'm sure you'll do well tomorrow. Hugs.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
