Gonna be different now, (butterfly in hurricane).

[25yearsmlc]

Bruce,

Do I agree with her saying one thing in court and another in private? NO. But document it and tell your L. It will be addressed, just as your TEMPRORARY support orders will be....

Stop acting as if this is the most insane unreasonable thing you've ever seen or heard of. And stop misleading people about the situation. None of us have amnesia (at least not those of us who have been here w/you all along).

Did you READ Adinva's post and then immediately BLURT out your angry thoughts/feelings/ REACTIONS?? (b/c it sure sounded like it--as if you did not "hear" a word she said).

That's not the behavior of a man in his 30s. She was spot on.

You misrepresent things so much, I don't know whether to be insulted b/c you think we're morons,

or concerned that you are able to twist things so much that you actually believe them.

Your support order amount was TEMPORARY, and included back payments...neither of which you volunteered. I think you'd never have told us that if we had not had the legal experiences we have.

You keep forgetting what a neglectful father she was (the GU is the opposite of what happened and for the life of me, you still don't get it!)
You are not behaving more reasonably than she is, btw.

The anger YOU have, even now, amazes me. It's NOT grief. It's furious rage and indignation, and that tells me a lot.

If you were a true victim, the outrage and self righteousness would Not be so flagrant. You're into self pity. Are you an only child or were you spoiled or what? I mean, I don't get it. This cannot be a "cultural" thing.

The way you STILL gloss over and even mock my words about her being a new mother and your mistreatment of her and your son, WHILE you now describe yourself as "working like madman"...WOW...

that type of talk reminds me of when I practiced criminal law.

I defended people accused of crimes, most of whom were guilty. They used to explain or "reason" the way you do, even when it was clear they had started the fight or burglary...

they never felt responsible for the results they created, b/c they did not intend to get caught or hurt someone else, they merely wanted what THEY wanted.. Even after confessing and being convicted and jailed LESS than the typical defendant, some would still tell me that they got a raw deal.

Bruce if you want someone to tell you that you were a GREAT H and FATHER, go talk to your "friends back home", whom you claim say that. Make sure to tell them about the "bah bah bah" comment you make when you imagine interacting with your first born child early in his life...and make sure you mock the "monkey faces" you express such contempt for...

to me it's increasingly obvious how little interest you had in your son THEN..that even now you regard it with disgust.

I fear you don't have much interest in HIM now either. I fear son is something you want to WIN.

I don't sense any joy about your son, from you. Just wanting to "get him" like a battle in a war.

Maybe your friends last year really told you they thought you were just fine and maybe they meant it and didn't say it just to make you feel better (which we are all used to hearing from our family/friends b/c they don't want to see us in pain).

But here, we deal with reality, based on YOUR words, your w's letter & our life experience...

Gabby and Adniva and Bond and others have tried valiantly to wake you up.
I know I've spent far longer on you, without seeing much progress, than anyone else lately. But man, I'm at a loss for words now.

You must shift your paradigm dramatically. You need some help to do this Bruce. You don't seem to have the tools to do it. & That's alright.

Maybe it's a lack of a support system where you are. But please do a workshop or join a support group there, b/c you need help to see your way clear. And whatever you are doing so far is not working.

Check out "Essential Experience" workshop in Philadelphia. They have a good website. Their workshop is life changing and clarifying. You'll get tools for NEW positive behaviors and ways of coping. (Power Of now, Navy Guy and Autumn Leaves have all done it recently. I did it years ago and do "team" for them now).

You're just not objective enough to see how you are too reactive. You're too blind to your own behavior and emotions and how you react to see your way clear.

Bruce, you said you like some extreme sports. Next time you feel brave,

then read Ad's post again and take it in.

Start to see your mission as "becoming the best Bruce that YOU can become".

Then instead of feeling attacked by feedback - learn to see it as valuable intelligence or "reconnaisance" that you need, in order to achieve your mission.

The longer you see yourself as the victim in this, the longer you'll be stuck, miserable, and in denial.